I hate this

I swear every time I think of being happy with anyone, for any reason, I just keep getting sad. I think of how much fun I had when I danced with David at that dance. I think of how wonderful it was to kiss him for the first time the day of the Christmas dance. I remember things like him walking me to my car when other guys walk me home. I think of how wonderfully protective he was of me whenever I was upset when I am upset for no stinking reason. I think of way too much stuff. I hate it. I wish I knew how to fix it. He was my best friend. I can't stop thinking that. He was my best friend, and now it's all gone because he decided not to talk to me anymore, or to listen to me anymore, or anything. I keep trying. I keep wanting. No matter what I say or do though, I am just not getting through to him. He kissed me, he was the first and last boy to ever kiss me. That means a lot to me. I slept in his bed with him, occasionally. Yeah no I know I shouldn't have, but I did. *shrug* we didn't DO anything...we just slept together when we would hang out and I would be tired. I miss it so much. I miss everything. I just wish we could at least be friends again, instead of being distant, and never talking.