When Will Things Get Better?

Okay so I know I am totally overstepping the bounds of abnormally pissed off...but I am. Every time I try to talk about this entire mess, I feel better. The next day rolls around and I am one depressed mess. I don't exactly feel like I can explain it to my parents, for fear of being told that I'm being over dramatic, or that I had an unhealthy relationship and it is good for it to be over. Right now all I want is him back. I dream about it. I think about it constantly. He loved me, I know he did. How in the world does that change so dang fast? All I see is these cliche things with his new girlfriend wearing his NAVY hat...and I burn with jealousy...and I break apart inside. Everything I loved seems centered around him right now, and as unhealthy as I know this is, I can't figure out a way to break this hold he has on me. He has a hold on me without even knowing it. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is what I've heard. Well right now what I'm feeling blows that all to hell and back. He is 100% absent from my entire life. I hate how much I love him right now. I don't want to love him. I want to hate him for what he has done to ruin my life. I hate to be the cliche girl who thinks that it really was her fault. But it's me anyhow. Somehow, my life is in ruins, and it is all his fault. And he doesn't even care. He won't answer my calls. He won't listen to my texts. I don't want to leave voicemails every time I call, but I want to. I hate this so much, with everything inside of me. I don't want to be like this, so depressed that I don't feel like living, and all over a guy who has broken my heart. How does that make the slightest bit of sense? We were a couple that everyone saw as the future perfect bride and groom. I loved him enough for that to happen. Now I am torn with torment as I wonder if I will ever be the same again, because of what he has left me as?