Therapy

See, I have decided something. Blogging is kind of theraputic. Nobody has to "approve" of what you say by "liking" it like with Facebook. I am able to just say whatever crap I want to say.

Right now, I'm so HAPPY for friends like Ali that understand EVERYTHING.

She and I had this long conversation that just made everythinggggg better. I want to keep up with the everything be better out look. Not everything is better, I'm still really lonely. I hate being alone, and I feel alone in tons of things. I love hugs, and sometimes I need everyone to hug me.

Kay, now I'm half regretting the Facebook thing. Since I did the "deactivate" later in the day, nobody really saw my status about what I was doing. Maybe a bad decision on my part lol. Debatedebatedebate. I'm going to cry when it doesn't last more than three days that I leave my Facebook alone.

I mean...Facebook is kind of silly. But it's also kind of fun. Sometimes. I miss it already, and I'm still trying to figure out why. All I did when I was Facebooking was just sitting around stalking people. Silly stuffs.

I miiss Eric like a butt ton! It's really sad. Every time I think about him BAM I miss him. I wish I could pull some more all nighters with him. funnnnnnest ever. Silliest, for sure, but funnest :D

He just told me that I have to reactivate my Facebook so he can continue to cyberstalk me. Awww!

Yeah, I'm lame. Not gonna lie. I activated my Facebook already. I'm so lame.

Shut up brain

It's one of those moments. The terrible, awful moments that you do something that you know isn't going to get you anywhere but you want a reaction, you want something to just happen, so you do it anyway. After you've done it, something happens, or something doesn't, and the entire thing kind of feels like a flop. That's me tonight!

Twice.

This has happened with two different guys.

WHY GUYS

why brain?

I'm hating my brain right now. Especially especiallyyyyyyy because...well....my period sucks balls. I'm always doing stupid crap like I can't control myself. Oh. My. Gosh. Why did I do it in the first place? It was stupid. I know. But hey, hormones are running and everything happens even if it's stupider than anything in the world!

I hate being so idiotic sometimes.

Okay, now for the stupid that I did.

BUGGING GUYS AND NOT JUST HAVING AN OUNCE OF PATIENCE

I am not patient. I know this. But I need to sit back and wait and hope (HOPE) that somehow I will be able to magically hear from them, and get something to happen.

This is me. Writing to me. Saying. ME. Go ahead and SHUT UP. Brain. Shut up. Now. Pleasee. Stop being an idiot. Stop talking to them. Just wait. Pray. Hope. They will come to you. Eventually. :) you'll see.

Thank you brain. Stay. Shut. Up.

Thank you all readers who agree with me (hahahaha what a joke as if I have readers) :)

So Much Changes

Last year, would I have known that I would be right here right now? No I wouldn't have! So much has changed, and so much has stayed the same.

Same
I'm still depressive
I'm still lying to my parents about my finances and my grades
I'm still boycrazy
I'm still immature

Different
Matt
Aaron
Matt
(Yes, they are different Matt's too)
WHAT IS IT WITH THAT NAME ANYHOW????

Anyhow.

Boys are a constant of messiness and confusion, and yuck and yum at the same time.

Jeff and Dell are still insisting on how I need a "real man" and how "womanly" I have become

I think they are nuts. I'm still working on growing up, and wanting to grow up, let alone being a "womanly woman"

I hate how people look at me sometimes, when I don't even know how to look at myself.

I'm really happy
and sad
about
stupid things
aka
BOYS
:)

I'm happy even though I'm overthinking Matt. He's so cute. And appears to like me. Whuttt?

That shouldn't surprise me so much, but it does. I should just be happy and stop worrying about it. :)

I need to figure out my lack of attendance at class
My lateness to class
My issues in general
Ughhh I keep looking at it all a little fast a little bit of everything all at once

CRAZY :)